7 Tips to make starting grade 7 more fun

Back to school can be exciting, but it can also feel overwhelming, especially if your child is worried about fitting in or getting lost in the shuffle.

Let’s make the transition to middle school as fun as possible for your child who is close to adolescence, or already a teenager. My experience as a teacher and a therapist have shown me how a little planning and creativity can help your child feel more confident, and maybe even excited, about this next big step.

Here are seven simple ideas to make this milestone sparkle.

Fear often comes from too many unknowns. Shine a light on those worries and break down the first day into steps that are simple and manageable.

Sit down together to write down, step by manageable step, what they’ll go through that morning: wake up, outfit, breakfast, bus stop, find locker, homeroom, meet science teacher.

“Extra credit” – Building their steps into a vision board or doodle map will help make this step something to look forward to. After they complete this step successfully, it will also serve as a proud reminder of the challenges they overcame.

A calm morning starts with a calm evening.

Go over the morning routine, help them pack their backpack, and maybe make their favourite breakfast for the first day, as you planned.

The predictability of small rituals, like choosing outfits together for that first week, or using their favourite mug for a cup of hot chocolate, help to build enjoyment and excitement.

Naming feelings helps kids, teens (and even adults) separate themselves and their identity from the feeling.

Ask your teen to give their big feelings a funny name, like “Nagging Nerves Nelly”, “Silly Scary Sally”, or “Wimpy Worry Worm,” and talk to it: “Thank you for trying to protect me, Wimpy Worry Worm, but I’ve got this. Thanks, but no, thanks!

Rehearsing builds familiarity, competence (practice leads to progress) and confidence.

Walk to the school a week or two before school starts. Notice cool things along the way. That bird, that squirrel, that tree? They could soon become familiar “friends” to say hi to along the way.

Go to the school if possible, or pretend-practice at home opening a locker, and role-play first-day conversations: “Hi, I’m Sidney. I think we’re in the same arts class!”

Even adults get stage fright; kids do too. From their autobiographies, many public speakers, professional athletes, and performers share that they use special items to remind themselves of their goals, dreams, good ideas, and Superpowers. So can your teen.

For you and your teen, this could look like deciding on a fun pair of lucky socks to wear. Slip a comforting item into their backpack. Perhaps a note from you, a fidget keychain to keep nerves at bay, or even chocolate chip cookies you baked together. Surprise them by forming a smile on the cookie with the chocolate chips.

Put together a small, reassuring “Grade 7 Superhero Kit” (or Superstar, Super Athlete, Super Musician – whatever they are into) with an inside-joke item, a notebook for doodles, a cool pen, or a calming playlist.

To prepare beyond the September back-to-school days, try cooking up an “emergency plan” together with pre-agreed-on words, so your teen knows you can be reached urgently using those words, just in case something goes wrong.

Starting middle school takes guts.

Normalize the awkwardness and remind them that everyone feels nervous at first.

If the first day in grade 7 turns out to be extra difficult, keep at it and find good things they succeeded at during the week that you can celebrate. Courage, for starters. Then perseverance. Find small signs of progress and celebrate successes over the next few days, and in the next week or month. Take a picture on a day where things are looking up, to look back on. Remembering how we succeeded at something difficult in the past is a great motivator to put away in our memory bank for upcoming challenges.

If your teen is feeling worried about not having any friends yet, encourage them to focus on being a friend instead of finding one. Being a gutsy friend (like your teen!) is even better than having a gutsy friend.

“If you go out looking for friends, they’ll be scarce.
If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”

— Zig Ziglar

What’s one thing you can do to celebrate your child’s courage this week?

Can you write them an encouraging note, make their favourite dinner, or simply say, “I’m proud of how brave you are” before school?

Quick parent-teen team tips to prepare for a successful back-to-school start:

• Doodle a simple first-day map together.
• Help them pack a reassuring item in their bag.
• Role-play one new “getting to know you” introduction and ice-breaker.
• Share one thing you were nervous about in school, and how you handled it.
• End the day/week/month by noticing and celebrating something they did well.

The start of Grade 7 might feel overwhelming now, but with encouragement, a little planning, and a lot of love, it can become an appealing adventure.

As the parent of a teen, you hold the key to make this happen. You, as their secure source of support, can help your teen turn apprehensive, fearful, worried thoughts, feelings, and behaviours about the unknowns of a new school into fun challenges.

What you say, and how you show your support in tricky moments like starting middle school, reminds your child or teen that they’re braver, smarter, and kinder than they might think.

Even better: your voice will stay with them far beyond the first day of junior high. As they grow into high school and adulthood, it will be your voice they will hear internally as they face new challenges. Can you hear yourself saying it?

“You’ve got this.”